Calling Collect

Calling Collect

The grass is always greener 

The say, on the other side

It’s because the soil is shallow

And the septic tank is wide

I knew I had found a soft spot

Walking in my neighbor’s lawn

When I saw her scantily dressed

In the light of that summer dawn

That was just one of many sins

I committed there that day

As we caught each other’s glance

We both quickly went astray

I wish I could assert

I found rock bottom there

But one sin follows another

When you try to split the hair

Adultery was just one

Of the many sins I carried

Thinking it would be better

If she divorced and we got married

Her family destroyed

Her husband fell apart

Not to speak of her children:

Disobedience became an art

Our marriage lasted a year:

A fire that burned quick and bright

I didn’t want to let her go

Couldn’t lose another fight

Alone and rejected

Again I looked for solace

I searched and I searched 

In all types of malice

Quickly I found porn

Or should I say it found me

Oh I saw so much

So much I can’t unsee

I paired it with drugs

And alcohol of every kind

I thought a nice little cocktail

Would be a great way to unwind

All I found at the bottom

Of every single drink

My reflection staring back at me

Reminding me to think:

How did I get here?

How did I fall so far from Grace?

My Christianity was gone,

Disappeared without a trace!

There I was with nothing left,

only Shame and guilt left to my name

For all of my depravity

There was no one else to blame

With no money and no food

The kindness of strangers all worn out,

I wondered to myself

Is this what it’s all about?

I then remember my younger days

When wanting to call home

I would call the operator

Pressing zero on the payphone

I could always call collect

Knowing my Dad would gladly pay

For the chance to talk with me 

To listen to what I had to say

I finally got up the courage

To reach out one last time

Knowing only He could redeem

This broken life of mine

Hi Dad, it’s me

I’ve made a mess of things again

Can you please come and get me

At the usual where and when?

I know it’s been a while

And I only call from inside the hole

But no one else I could think of

Loves me mind, body, and soul

I know my account is depleted

With no deposits in a while

But you’re the only One I trust

To pull me out of this massive pile

I know these are the wages

For the work that I have done

But I’m ready to quit this job

And come to work for you as a son

I’ve tried everything I know

To make it out here on my own

Selling my time, body and mind

To build myself a measly throne

The throne I got was rotten

Built with blood, sweat and tears

And none of it brought me rest

In all these many years

I couldn’t understand the reason

None of it ever worked out

The harder I worked the less I had

Till I reached a full-blown drought

Every decision I ever made

Only brought me greater pain

None of it brought contentment

Nor did it ever bring me gain

I’m ready to come home now

That is if You’ll have me as a slave

I’ll work the rest of my life 

To pay you back all you gave

Son, I’ve been waiting by the phone,

All these years for your call

I don’t need your slave labor

I just simply want your all!

Read: We Are All Not Called To Do But to Be