Calling Collect
The grass is always greenerÂ
The say, on the other side
It’s because the soil is shallow
And the septic tank is wide
I knew I had found a soft spot
Walking in my neighbor’s lawn
When I saw her scantily dressed
In the light of that summer dawn
That was just one of many sins
I committed there that day
As we caught each other’s glance
We both quickly went astray
I wish I could assert
I found rock bottom there
But one sin follows another
When you try to split the hair
Adultery was just one
Of the many sins I carried
Thinking it would be better
If she divorced and we got married
Her family destroyed
Her husband fell apart
Not to speak of her children:
Disobedience became an art
Our marriage lasted a year:
A fire that burned quick and bright
I didn’t want to let her go
Couldn’t lose another fight
Alone and rejected
Again I looked for solace
I searched and I searchedÂ
In all types of malice
Quickly I found porn
Or should I say it found me
Oh I saw so much
So much I can’t unsee
I paired it with drugs
And alcohol of every kind
I thought a nice little cocktail
Would be a great way to unwind
All I found at the bottom
Of every single drink
My reflection staring back at me
Reminding me to think:
How did I get here?
How did I fall so far from Grace?
My Christianity was gone,
Disappeared without a trace!
There I was with nothing left,
only Shame and guilt left to my name
For all of my depravity
There was no one else to blame
With no money and no food
The kindness of strangers all worn out,
I wondered to myself
Is this what it’s all about?
I then remember my younger days
When wanting to call home
I would call the operator
Pressing zero on the payphone
I could always call collect
Knowing my Dad would gladly pay
For the chance to talk with meÂ
To listen to what I had to say
I finally got up the courage
To reach out one last time
Knowing only He could redeem
This broken life of mine
Hi Dad, it’s me
I’ve made a mess of things again
Can you please come and get me
At the usual where and when?
I know it’s been a while
And I only call from inside the hole
But no one else I could think of
Loves me mind, body, and soul
I know my account is depleted
With no deposits in a while
But you’re the only One I trust
To pull me out of this massive pile
I know these are the wages
For the work that I have done
But I’m ready to quit this job
And come to work for you as a son
I’ve tried everything I know
To make it out here on my own
Selling my time, body and mind
To build myself a measly throne
The throne I got was rotten
Built with blood, sweat and tears
And none of it brought me rest
In all these many years
I couldn’t understand the reason
None of it ever worked out
The harder I worked the less I had
Till I reached a full-blown drought
Every decision I ever made
Only brought me greater pain
None of it brought contentment
Nor did it ever bring me gain
I’m ready to come home now
That is if You’ll have me as a slave
I’ll work the rest of my lifeÂ
To pay you back all you gave
Son, I’ve been waiting by the phone,
All these years for your call
I don’t need your slave labor
I just simply want your all!
Read: We Are All Not Called To Do But to Be
Bondservant to Jesus Christ, Married to Michele, Dad to Madelyn, Claudia, and Joseph and educator by trade, apologist by calling and saved by Grace. Antonio loves to read, write, and discuss all-things-apologetics. He has many passions in life including reaching, teaching, and keeping men for Jesus Christ. Waiting on God’s big reveal: Antonio knows He has something beautiful in mind.